Have you ever wondered how to be a normal person? Do you ever feel like you just don’t fit in?

Well, you’re not alone. And that’s a good thing!

First of all, I didn’t know there was a book by this exact title (see!) until I started writing this, but I’m not changing now. And actually, this book seems pretty interesting, I’m going to have to check it out.

Anyway.

This is one of my favorite things to write about. I hate the word normal. No one is normal. Normal means nothing.

We all have this perception of “normal” that acts as a measuring stick to which we compare ourselves.

There are societal “norms” (hey that’s the root of the word!) that seem to be a standard. And if there are people who don’t live up to those norms, well, then they’re just weird.

So that’s all well and good, but hey, Dadtrovert: Just tell me how to be a normal person!

What Is Normal?

I’ve heard many people say it. “That’s not normal.” Or “That’s not how a normal person acts.”

By standard definitions, “normal” is just what we’re used to. When we go out in public, we have to act a certain way.

First and foremost, we’re expected to be polite. The “norm” is to make small talk and shake people’s hands. We have to be social and want to be together in crowds.

“Humans are social creatures” I keep hearing.

Normal is a myth. Trying to be normal causes all of (ok, a lot of) us stress.

Society makes us feel like we can’t be ourselves, and that we have to mold ourselves into a certain version of ourselves.

What Kind Of Person Should I Be?

That’s just it! It’s not up to me, or society, or your friends and relatives. You have to be you. And the challenge is being ok with being you.

This is something I’m working on for myself. It’s extremely hard.

I’ve spent my entire life trying to be a version of myself that other people wanted to be.

When I was young, I tried to be what my parents wanted me to be. They had these lofty expectations of me, and I wanted to make them proud.

When I moved into my first apartment, living on my own for the first time, I wanted to mold myself into who I thought other people wanted as a friend. I wanted to change myself into a guy I thought girls would want to date.

My relationships suffered, of course! Being “normal” (or whatever I thought normal was) didn’t fit me.

My work life suffered, because I kept seeking jobs that didn’t align with who I am.

Being who I thought I was “supposed to be” set me back and made me depressed for a long time.

Screw normal.

I’m me. You’re you.

Our advantage in this life is that we’re NOT like everyone else. It’s time to embrace US. It’s the best chance we have.

In my world, normal is everyone else.

The question you should ask is not “how can I be a normal person?” The question you should as is “how can I be myself?”

It’s simultaneously the easiest AND the hardest thing to do.